Wednesday, May 1, 2019

The Real Meaning of Mother's Day

This is the month we celebrate Mother’s Day --probably not much as Hallmark, but still, we celebrate. Most of us who are moms will get something from our kids: flowers, candy, presents; I’ll accept them all, don’t get me wrong! But unfortunately, we’ve gotten Mother’s Day wrong. Mother’s Day was begun in 1870 after much lobbying by women (who, didn’t have the vote, but made their presence felt). It wasn’t created because mothers felt overwhelmed with raising children, running the household and still finding time to foment rebellion.; it wasn’t begun as an economic stimulus program hoping that flowers, candy, and presents would boost retail sales. Mother’s Day was founded by mothers who were tired of having their sons (at the time) sent home in boxes from one war zone or another. Julia Ward Howe, a Unitarian rabble-rouser and leader of the movement to create Mother’s Day, wrote in her Mother’s Day Proclamation in 1870: As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace...in the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality, may be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient and the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace. This was never meant to be a day to honor mothers; it was a day to honor our children. Beginning with those who have come home in flag-draped caskets from war zones. And there have been so many war zones haven’t there? Not just Iraq and Afghanistan, but Bosnia, Vietnam, Korea, World War II, World War I– all wars begun after Mother’s Day was established as an effort for peace. And we have met together, women and men, whether parents or not, to bewail and commemorate the dead. The roll call list of dead, from just recent years is long: the victims of 9/11, the bombings in Paris, and, most recently, the horrific shootings of Muslims in New Zealand who had gathered peacefully for prayer, and the bombings of Christian churches on Easter Sunday in Sri Lanka that left over 200 dead. Maybe it’s time to change the meaning of this day from being an exclusive party for women who change diapers back to its original meaning as a day to seek peace, to realize mothers (and fathers) of all nationalities love their children and wish to see them live long, happy lives. Maybe, if we who are mothers can receive our gifts and determine to take back the original sense of Mother’s Day, and if we are joined by fathers, uncles, aunts, siblings, and lovers we can reclaim Julia Ward Howes’s vision; we can create a movement of justice globally. As a mother, I find this vision of Mother’s Day more appealing to me than the sappy sentiments offered in the pink aisle of the greeting card selections. So today, I issue a call to all mothers and to all people, whether parents or not, to renew to a commitment to peace in our homes, communities, country, and world; to recognize the inherent worth and dignity of every child of every human; to make every day Mother’s Day.