Tonight I went to an Independence Day party hosted by a friend who lives in Manitou Springs. This particular friend and I go way back, to the beginning of my time in Colorado. We have never been extremely close; rather our politics and passions draw us every now and then into the eddied currents of life– at fund-raising events or rallies or marches. Because it is such a singular friendship, her circle of friends is different than the ones I see in the course of my daily life.
At her parties (she has two or three or more a year– her house is perfect with its large, open living space and cool, enclosed patio overlooking the little village that is Manitou) I often run into friends and acquaintances that I haven’t seen in years.
And such was the case tonight. I sat for a time with three other women– none of whom I knew well but well enough to feel peaceful and at ease. We chatted about our lives, filling in the blanks of missing years. Of the four of us, three of us had dealt with cancer in varying degrees of severity (uterine, cervical, ovarian). We discussed living through that, our surgeries, how it changed us. Three of us (a different three, well one person sat this one out) were single– the other celebrating 19 years with her partner. We talked about relationship transitions, women we have known, ways in which we have grown.
Others came and went into this circle of conversation. We told raunchy jokes we remembered from our baby dyke days. We talked about softball and sports injuries, flash mobs and 5ks, pets and hoped for chickens to raise, sabbaticals and growing older.
Several times, or at least it seemed to me, we reflected on our age, our longevity, our stamina. As I looked at the faces of the women around me in the deepening dusk, I marveled at how beautiful each of us are, at how we are bearing our lives with grace and laughter.
I left the party before the fireworks began and drove through the throngs of people who had parked their cars on the narrow lane that passes for a street in Manitou, there to see the show.
As I drove home, my heart was filled with the gratitude and a sense of wonderment at our lives, and how we choose to live them and the myriad paths that lead us to this moment. Right here. Now.
"Se a Vida E (that’s the way life is) by the Petshop Boys began playing on my iPod. I listened to the lyrics :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIIhnaCkdX4&feature=related
Come outside and see a brand new day
The troubles in your mind will blow away
It's easy to believe they're here to stay
But you won't find them standing in your way
Se a vida e', I love you - Come outside and feel the morning sun
Se a vida e', I love you - Life is much more simple when you're young
Bemused I wondered, was life simpler when I was young? Maybe love seemed simpler– taken for granted even– but life seems imminently simpler now. Now when I have more birthdays behind me than before and I can look back on times I was convinced I could not survive, and yet here I am; losses whose grief was a sea so deep I feared it would swallow me whole, never to be seen again, and yet I made it to shore again and again and again.
As the song was playing and I was driving, I caught out of the corner of my eye a brilliant green-red burst of fireworks in the sky--starting small and then expanding in an ever widening arc, like the big bang, like the feeling of possibilities in my heart, growing brighter and reaching farther with every second of their glory, proclaiming Independence even as they reached out in a fervent dance of connection and hope.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Changed for Good
Nori’s Nuggets
There is no point in entering into dialogue if we are not willing to be changed by the encounter.—Karen Armstrong
Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But since I knew you, I have been changed for good.=-- from musical, Wicked
I have just returned from the General Assembly in Charlotte, NC. It was a fabulous event and at least four events were worth the price of admission alone. One was the Nick Page New Epiphany service in which science was celebrated as sacred and holy and divine. Another was the Moderator’s Report during the final plenary given by Gini Courter. Her words were prophetic and compelling (and you can check out all these events via streaming technology—just go to uua.org). The third thing worth the price of admission was just getting to spend time with my colleagues and friends that are scattered like stardust across the nation.
And the fourth event was the Ware Lecture given by theologian Karen Armstrong. She spoke on the subject of her book, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life and noted that we need compassion more than ever. We need to see people as individuals and not as some caricatureof an ideology for which we think they stand. She asked are we in fact, willing to be changed by dialogue with others who have differing perspectives than we do?
I have over 800 friends on facebook. Most of these asked me to be friends, (I suspect through the automatic process of having fb go through their address books and ask everyone they know to be friends). Certainly, the vast majority of those 800 plus friends don’t interact with me on a consistent basis. But there is one person who I specifically asked to be my friend even though I have never met him. I did this after I read a response he had written on a mutual friend’s post. Our mutual friend, a solid liberal, had posted something that I totally agreed with and this third party had written something so clearly in opposition to it that, I admit somewhat sheepishly, I thought it was a wry and facetious. In such a perspective, I thought it was funny so I asked him to be my friend.
So imagine my surprise when this new friend started making comments on my posts that were counter to my own beliefs. It was startling. And, never having met him, it quickly became the lens through which I viewed him. I will even admit to some exasperation at his comments. I began to wonder if it had been a bad idea to friend him—or at least to do so without reading his profile first.
So I did finally read his profile, flipped through his pictures. And I discovered a person with many layers of diversity—a musician, a scuba diver, someone who loves cats (!) and I realized he was more than his political views. I discovered he was a complex person with a depth beyond our differing perspectives and, at the end of the day, a very likable person, indeed.
He still posts on my links opinions that are vastly different than mine and we will probably never agree on many things. But I have been changed by the dialogue—I have been changed, not my persectives on the economy, government, etc.
Now when I read his comments, I do so with a smile, with compassion, with a more appreciatvie understanding of who he is. And perhaps, if he ever comes to the Springs to visit our mutual friends we could go out for coffee, sit down face to face and deepen the dialogue.
All in all, it’s been a good experience for me, to look beyond the ideology to the person. A good reminder that we are more than our points of view and that we are each humans of inherent worth and dignity. Even when we disagree, even when we can’t see eye to eye. And when we see that, a diatribe does become a dialogue and we are changed.
There is no point in entering into dialogue if we are not willing to be changed by the encounter.—Karen Armstrong
Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But since I knew you, I have been changed for good.=-- from musical, Wicked
I have just returned from the General Assembly in Charlotte, NC. It was a fabulous event and at least four events were worth the price of admission alone. One was the Nick Page New Epiphany service in which science was celebrated as sacred and holy and divine. Another was the Moderator’s Report during the final plenary given by Gini Courter. Her words were prophetic and compelling (and you can check out all these events via streaming technology—just go to uua.org). The third thing worth the price of admission was just getting to spend time with my colleagues and friends that are scattered like stardust across the nation.
And the fourth event was the Ware Lecture given by theologian Karen Armstrong. She spoke on the subject of her book, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life and noted that we need compassion more than ever. We need to see people as individuals and not as some caricatureof an ideology for which we think they stand. She asked are we in fact, willing to be changed by dialogue with others who have differing perspectives than we do?
I have over 800 friends on facebook. Most of these asked me to be friends, (I suspect through the automatic process of having fb go through their address books and ask everyone they know to be friends). Certainly, the vast majority of those 800 plus friends don’t interact with me on a consistent basis. But there is one person who I specifically asked to be my friend even though I have never met him. I did this after I read a response he had written on a mutual friend’s post. Our mutual friend, a solid liberal, had posted something that I totally agreed with and this third party had written something so clearly in opposition to it that, I admit somewhat sheepishly, I thought it was a wry and facetious. In such a perspective, I thought it was funny so I asked him to be my friend.
So imagine my surprise when this new friend started making comments on my posts that were counter to my own beliefs. It was startling. And, never having met him, it quickly became the lens through which I viewed him. I will even admit to some exasperation at his comments. I began to wonder if it had been a bad idea to friend him—or at least to do so without reading his profile first.
So I did finally read his profile, flipped through his pictures. And I discovered a person with many layers of diversity—a musician, a scuba diver, someone who loves cats (!) and I realized he was more than his political views. I discovered he was a complex person with a depth beyond our differing perspectives and, at the end of the day, a very likable person, indeed.
He still posts on my links opinions that are vastly different than mine and we will probably never agree on many things. But I have been changed by the dialogue—I have been changed, not my persectives on the economy, government, etc.
Now when I read his comments, I do so with a smile, with compassion, with a more appreciatvie understanding of who he is. And perhaps, if he ever comes to the Springs to visit our mutual friends we could go out for coffee, sit down face to face and deepen the dialogue.
All in all, it’s been a good experience for me, to look beyond the ideology to the person. A good reminder that we are more than our points of view and that we are each humans of inherent worth and dignity. Even when we disagree, even when we can’t see eye to eye. And when we see that, a diatribe does become a dialogue and we are changed.
Friday, March 18, 2011
This Train Still Runs (Another great song by Janis Ian)
Last night I had an opportunity of a lifetime to see Janis Ian in concert. Janis Ian!!! I would say to my friends in advance. For many I had to hum “At Seventeen” or mention “Society’s Child.”
Some of my friends wanted to come but couldn’t, others simply were born too late to understand the impact this woman has had on the arts in America, on providing social commentary, on using her art to tell the truth and thus, make us uncomfortable about our own truths we were hiding, cleverly concealed as insouciance, or recklessness, or as the numbing shawl of ennui we would wear draped over our shoulders, close to our hearts.
Of course for me “At Seventeen” was one of my flagship songs. I was that girl, and that was my truth. In part, I would say I learned this much younger than at seventeen. Maybe it was when I was thirteen and one of my best friends and I walked to the tennis courts with a boy– he was cute, and popular. I remember my friend was playing a set of tennis with this boy (whose popular, cute name I’ve forgotten) and I was being goofy, running after stray balls, thinking I was very entertaining. At the end of the game, I was sweaty and disheveled, my hair plastered to my face and neck. My friend and Popular Boy, although they had played the game vigorously, looked cool and serene. Walking home, we were no longer three abreast; they walked ahead, holding hands and I trailed behind thinking, “There’s something I’m missing about this whole boy-girl connection.”
So clearly, that memory– and others like them– arose for me last night. But it was about more than memories. It was about connections–spiritual, emotional and physical connections. After a particularly erotic (really, there’s no other word for it) guitar riff on a song before intermission, I looked at a straight friend of mine and said, “I feel like I need a cigarette after that!” She agreed.
She also connected to the audience with her humor. I had no idea – never having seen her live– how incredibly funny she is. Sardonic and wry, she told stories on herself. She spoke of the ludicrous laws of the United States when it comes to marriage (I posted a youtube video of her singing her song about this on my fb page). She told of the incredible backlash to her first big hit when she was just 15 years old, “Society’s Child” about an inter-racial relationship and used raw language in recounting that raw time that makes polite society feel uncomfortable.
She made fun of herself in her song “Autobiography” and she swept me away with her stunning rendition of “Tea and Sympathy” (another youtube post on my fb wall). This song was written well before AIDS hit the U.S. population, most chiefly, at the onset, the gay male population. When she sang this song last night, I was instantly taken back to those years when friends and community members were vanishing in the time span of a song (I think the montage in RENT shows it best, as the men and women in the HIV support group vanish during the song, “Without You”). The youtube video shows Janis Ian singing live in 1976. So, maybe 25, 26, something like that. It can’t compare to the depth and timbre of experience and a lived embodied life that Janis brought to the song last night. Although her humor came through. She said, “Now I get to sing what I really want– like a Liberace medly (and if I have to explain Liberace, forget it– he was the Lady Gaga of his era). And the words (found at www.metrolyrics.com/tea-and-sympathy-lyrics-janis-ian.html) fit in so well with the US AIDS years. Life takes on a different meaning when one’s true love– when so many of one’s true loves– have gone. I love the words, “I’ll pray to go quite mad, and live in long ago. When you and I were one, so very long ago.” Yes, I cried. I cried a few times during the evening. But I laughed a lot, too. And I nodded my head in understanding and solidarity.
I don’t mean to engage in hyperbole, but I truly think this was possibly the best concert I’ve been to in my life. And I’ve been to many– Doobie Brothers, Billy Joel, Summer Jam (Journey, Christopher Cross, others). I’ve seen Bette Midler three times, the Indigo Girls and Melissa Etheridge, countless times, Sweet Honey in the Rock, the Washington Sisters, Jack Johnson and Jimmy Buffet, James Taylor, Equality Rocks concert. I’m missing some.
And they were are all great. But there was something about this evening spent with Janis Ian. The venue Stargazers Theatre (www.stargazerstheatre.com) was awesome and the sound great.
And I was at a table in the very front. All of this helped. But there was a certain ineffable quality about her presence, her continued insistence on using her art to tell the truth and to reveal our culture’s folly that I think I would have felt if I were in a stadium of thousands. And her voice! Her voice was as pure as it ever was, with the rich and layered complexities of the years fully lived.
At an upcoming worship conference that will be held in the MDD, the title of a keynote address is listed as Nobody Ever Left Worship Humming the Sermon. I’m assuming this might be about the role of the arts and music in worship. But I have to say, that I had a spiritual experience last night in the listening to the embodied stories and music of Janis Ian. Her life has been a sermon– a proclamation of truth, an exhortation to live justly, and a lullaby of compassion and love– and I left humming it last night.
You can check out more about Janis Ian at her website www.janisian.com
Some of my friends wanted to come but couldn’t, others simply were born too late to understand the impact this woman has had on the arts in America, on providing social commentary, on using her art to tell the truth and thus, make us uncomfortable about our own truths we were hiding, cleverly concealed as insouciance, or recklessness, or as the numbing shawl of ennui we would wear draped over our shoulders, close to our hearts.
Of course for me “At Seventeen” was one of my flagship songs. I was that girl, and that was my truth. In part, I would say I learned this much younger than at seventeen. Maybe it was when I was thirteen and one of my best friends and I walked to the tennis courts with a boy– he was cute, and popular. I remember my friend was playing a set of tennis with this boy (whose popular, cute name I’ve forgotten) and I was being goofy, running after stray balls, thinking I was very entertaining. At the end of the game, I was sweaty and disheveled, my hair plastered to my face and neck. My friend and Popular Boy, although they had played the game vigorously, looked cool and serene. Walking home, we were no longer three abreast; they walked ahead, holding hands and I trailed behind thinking, “There’s something I’m missing about this whole boy-girl connection.”
So clearly, that memory– and others like them– arose for me last night. But it was about more than memories. It was about connections–spiritual, emotional and physical connections. After a particularly erotic (really, there’s no other word for it) guitar riff on a song before intermission, I looked at a straight friend of mine and said, “I feel like I need a cigarette after that!” She agreed.
She also connected to the audience with her humor. I had no idea – never having seen her live– how incredibly funny she is. Sardonic and wry, she told stories on herself. She spoke of the ludicrous laws of the United States when it comes to marriage (I posted a youtube video of her singing her song about this on my fb page). She told of the incredible backlash to her first big hit when she was just 15 years old, “Society’s Child” about an inter-racial relationship and used raw language in recounting that raw time that makes polite society feel uncomfortable.
She made fun of herself in her song “Autobiography” and she swept me away with her stunning rendition of “Tea and Sympathy” (another youtube post on my fb wall). This song was written well before AIDS hit the U.S. population, most chiefly, at the onset, the gay male population. When she sang this song last night, I was instantly taken back to those years when friends and community members were vanishing in the time span of a song (I think the montage in RENT shows it best, as the men and women in the HIV support group vanish during the song, “Without You”). The youtube video shows Janis Ian singing live in 1976. So, maybe 25, 26, something like that. It can’t compare to the depth and timbre of experience and a lived embodied life that Janis brought to the song last night. Although her humor came through. She said, “Now I get to sing what I really want– like a Liberace medly (and if I have to explain Liberace, forget it– he was the Lady Gaga of his era). And the words (found at www.metrolyrics.com/tea-and-sympathy-lyrics-janis-ian.html) fit in so well with the US AIDS years. Life takes on a different meaning when one’s true love– when so many of one’s true loves– have gone. I love the words, “I’ll pray to go quite mad, and live in long ago. When you and I were one, so very long ago.” Yes, I cried. I cried a few times during the evening. But I laughed a lot, too. And I nodded my head in understanding and solidarity.
I don’t mean to engage in hyperbole, but I truly think this was possibly the best concert I’ve been to in my life. And I’ve been to many– Doobie Brothers, Billy Joel, Summer Jam (Journey, Christopher Cross, others). I’ve seen Bette Midler three times, the Indigo Girls and Melissa Etheridge, countless times, Sweet Honey in the Rock, the Washington Sisters, Jack Johnson and Jimmy Buffet, James Taylor, Equality Rocks concert. I’m missing some.
And they were are all great. But there was something about this evening spent with Janis Ian. The venue Stargazers Theatre (www.stargazerstheatre.com) was awesome and the sound great.
And I was at a table in the very front. All of this helped. But there was a certain ineffable quality about her presence, her continued insistence on using her art to tell the truth and to reveal our culture’s folly that I think I would have felt if I were in a stadium of thousands. And her voice! Her voice was as pure as it ever was, with the rich and layered complexities of the years fully lived.
At an upcoming worship conference that will be held in the MDD, the title of a keynote address is listed as Nobody Ever Left Worship Humming the Sermon. I’m assuming this might be about the role of the arts and music in worship. But I have to say, that I had a spiritual experience last night in the listening to the embodied stories and music of Janis Ian. Her life has been a sermon– a proclamation of truth, an exhortation to live justly, and a lullaby of compassion and love– and I left humming it last night.
You can check out more about Janis Ian at her website www.janisian.com
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
This is for all the lonely people
I was speaking with someone recently and she confessed that she was dealing with acute loneliness. She’d been single for about a year and half and wasn’t looking for a partner– just people to hang out with. And she’s a great person– and seemingly happy and successful. But she’s lonely– and this was made worse by the fact that efforts to reach out to friends recently resulted in no response, or cancelled plans. She told me about how stigmatized she felt with this affliction.
She said, “I can put on my fb status that I have a cold and I will get lots of responses .... suggestions on how to get over it sooner, drugs or homeopathic remedies to take, get well wishes...but if I were to post that I’m lonely, no one would respond. It’s like there’s shame attached to it.”
I thought about how true this was. Even depression is finally accepted as a normal life event, but loneliness?
I remembered times in my own life I had felt lonely– when I was commuting from Manhattan, KS to Topeka for my final year of high school and really felt orphaned; when I was unhappy in a relationship but didn’t have the skills to talk about it with my partner; when I felt a deep sense of otherness from the crowd I was in; when I, like my friend, had reached out to others and been turned down.
Loneliness isn’t the same as depression, it’s a sense of being cut off from the rest of the world, of not being noticed, of not being cared for. It’s a sense of feeling like we don’t matter to others.
Oftentimes, loneliness occurs when we are cut off, for whatever reason, from meaningful interactions with others. Maybe a beloved friend moves away, or we end a relationship, or a parent dies. Sometimes, as I said above, loneliness can occur when we’re in the thick of relationships, but feel misunderstood, or misrepresented–an outcast, the other.
And my friend is right– no one ever talks about loneliness. Why is there shame attached to that?
What is the stigma? That if we’re lonely it’s because no one wants to be with us? So there’s something wrong?
How can we love our lonely selves and have the courage to maintain a positive attitude and keep putting ourselves out there?
Frankly, I think it takes a lot of courage to be lonely in a social networked world with more online and f2f opportunities than ever before. It takes courage to admit that in spite of the glut of frenzied activities, we still feel isolated. It takes guts to keep trying to find our niche.
I felt helpless with my friend. There was no panacea I could offer to take the edge off her pain, there was no quick fix or kindle book that would make her world okay.
I could only tell her I was proud of her for continuing to try. I could only tell her she was a worthy and giving person who had much to offer. These words were, perhaps, cold comfort, in the face of the anguishing pain of loneliness. So I decided the one last thing I could do would be to talk about loneliness, how it impacts each of us at one time or another, how debilitating it is to our psyche. And to name what she cannot post on her fb. That loneliness sucks. That we’re meant to be in relationship with one another. And if a friend– particularly a friend you haven’t heard from in a while– calls you to say “Let’s get together,” then treat that as a sacred obligation to another human. It’s not something to be taken lightly. Say yes– and move heaven and earth to keep that commitment. And if you feel like you don’t want to, it’s too much trouble, it’s too much work, then I invite you to remember a time when you felt lonely, unloved, unwanted. And treat your friend the way you wish someone had treated you during that time.
She said, “I can put on my fb status that I have a cold and I will get lots of responses .... suggestions on how to get over it sooner, drugs or homeopathic remedies to take, get well wishes...but if I were to post that I’m lonely, no one would respond. It’s like there’s shame attached to it.”
I thought about how true this was. Even depression is finally accepted as a normal life event, but loneliness?
I remembered times in my own life I had felt lonely– when I was commuting from Manhattan, KS to Topeka for my final year of high school and really felt orphaned; when I was unhappy in a relationship but didn’t have the skills to talk about it with my partner; when I felt a deep sense of otherness from the crowd I was in; when I, like my friend, had reached out to others and been turned down.
Loneliness isn’t the same as depression, it’s a sense of being cut off from the rest of the world, of not being noticed, of not being cared for. It’s a sense of feeling like we don’t matter to others.
Oftentimes, loneliness occurs when we are cut off, for whatever reason, from meaningful interactions with others. Maybe a beloved friend moves away, or we end a relationship, or a parent dies. Sometimes, as I said above, loneliness can occur when we’re in the thick of relationships, but feel misunderstood, or misrepresented–an outcast, the other.
And my friend is right– no one ever talks about loneliness. Why is there shame attached to that?
What is the stigma? That if we’re lonely it’s because no one wants to be with us? So there’s something wrong?
How can we love our lonely selves and have the courage to maintain a positive attitude and keep putting ourselves out there?
Frankly, I think it takes a lot of courage to be lonely in a social networked world with more online and f2f opportunities than ever before. It takes courage to admit that in spite of the glut of frenzied activities, we still feel isolated. It takes guts to keep trying to find our niche.
I felt helpless with my friend. There was no panacea I could offer to take the edge off her pain, there was no quick fix or kindle book that would make her world okay.
I could only tell her I was proud of her for continuing to try. I could only tell her she was a worthy and giving person who had much to offer. These words were, perhaps, cold comfort, in the face of the anguishing pain of loneliness. So I decided the one last thing I could do would be to talk about loneliness, how it impacts each of us at one time or another, how debilitating it is to our psyche. And to name what she cannot post on her fb. That loneliness sucks. That we’re meant to be in relationship with one another. And if a friend– particularly a friend you haven’t heard from in a while– calls you to say “Let’s get together,” then treat that as a sacred obligation to another human. It’s not something to be taken lightly. Say yes– and move heaven and earth to keep that commitment. And if you feel like you don’t want to, it’s too much trouble, it’s too much work, then I invite you to remember a time when you felt lonely, unloved, unwanted. And treat your friend the way you wish someone had treated you during that time.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Just Relationships
"No matter what side you take on all the craziness going on, be compassionate and respectful of each other. There are a lot of people on both sides feeling very anxious and fearful. Be politically active, but do it with grace. Ultimately, this too shall pass, so don't ruin relationships over it."
The above quote was passed on by a friend of Stephanie Sharp– our former Director of Religious Education who is living in Wisconsin now. And I thought how important that is to remember as we attempt to come to terms with the revolutions happening the world over, it seems.
In some regards, it is easier to feel like we have a common understanding of events happening in other parts of the world. The politics aren’t ours– there are different political parties and agendas, different histories of oppression and revolution. Even a different dominant religion in some cases, and a different way of understanding Christianity than here in the United States.
So it can feel easier to be aligned with one another on our commitment to justice for the protesters in Egypt and Tunisia and Libya and Bahrain. Much easier to paint the government with a sinister brush stroke.
But it’s not so easy, the distinction isn’t quite as clear when it comes to our own land, to Madison, WI, where the issues are framed in language we all understand, even if we interpret it differently from one another.
Many people will say that Governor Walker has made the budget mess himself by giving huge corporate tax breaks and deciding to make up the difference by taking away the unions’ ability to have collective bargaining rights and in effect, taxing the public employees to make up for the budget downfall. That’s a simplified version of that argument, but it lies at the heart of the protests and rallies that have been happening in Madison and around the country.
Others will say that the unions are more harm than good, and that workers in unions already have it better than non-union workers. This was shown in a chart in a recent Wall Street Journal article about the debate in Wisconsin which points out that union workers make an average of $26.25 an hour compared to $19.68 for non-union and that 99% of union workers get retirement benefits compared to 74% of non-union workers. People with this viewpoint might say that it’s time for the unions to give up some of their power and benefits.
And people on all sides of this issue include Unitarian Universalists. Right here in River City (aka at All Souls). Which is what makes this quote from Stephanie’s friend all the more powerful. This is an incredible opportunity to practice deep listening, to not make assumptions, to see the inherent worth and dignity of every human– and to give space for the validity of their own point of view and how it ties in with our seven guiding principles. For myself, I am solidly in the workers’ corner. I don’t believe that Governor Walker is showing equity in his refusal to negotiate with Democrats and union leaders who have already said they’re willing to make concessions, sacrifices to help pass a balanced budget.
I will have participated in two rallies by the time this makes press that show support for the teachers and others who are being impacted by the governor’s intractability.
For me, this isn’t about the power of unions or balancing a budget. It’s about an agenda that leaves no room for compromise or for inviting all impacted parties to the table. That is what I decry and I hope that the rallies will provide the impetus for Governor Walker to be more flexible, to be more open to listening to other points of view.
That’s what we’re each called to do, isn’t it? To be more flexible, to be more open to listening to other points of view, and to remember, as Steph’s friend said, “ultimately, this too shall pass, so don’t ruin relationships over it.”
In this past week I have had a loving conversation with a member who completely disagrees with me. And what’s most important to both of us is not proving the other wrong but hearing one another and loving one another in the midst of our disagreement. If we can each do that, then, regardless of what happens in Wisconsin, we will all win.
The above quote was passed on by a friend of Stephanie Sharp– our former Director of Religious Education who is living in Wisconsin now. And I thought how important that is to remember as we attempt to come to terms with the revolutions happening the world over, it seems.
In some regards, it is easier to feel like we have a common understanding of events happening in other parts of the world. The politics aren’t ours– there are different political parties and agendas, different histories of oppression and revolution. Even a different dominant religion in some cases, and a different way of understanding Christianity than here in the United States.
So it can feel easier to be aligned with one another on our commitment to justice for the protesters in Egypt and Tunisia and Libya and Bahrain. Much easier to paint the government with a sinister brush stroke.
But it’s not so easy, the distinction isn’t quite as clear when it comes to our own land, to Madison, WI, where the issues are framed in language we all understand, even if we interpret it differently from one another.
Many people will say that Governor Walker has made the budget mess himself by giving huge corporate tax breaks and deciding to make up the difference by taking away the unions’ ability to have collective bargaining rights and in effect, taxing the public employees to make up for the budget downfall. That’s a simplified version of that argument, but it lies at the heart of the protests and rallies that have been happening in Madison and around the country.
Others will say that the unions are more harm than good, and that workers in unions already have it better than non-union workers. This was shown in a chart in a recent Wall Street Journal article about the debate in Wisconsin which points out that union workers make an average of $26.25 an hour compared to $19.68 for non-union and that 99% of union workers get retirement benefits compared to 74% of non-union workers. People with this viewpoint might say that it’s time for the unions to give up some of their power and benefits.
And people on all sides of this issue include Unitarian Universalists. Right here in River City (aka at All Souls). Which is what makes this quote from Stephanie’s friend all the more powerful. This is an incredible opportunity to practice deep listening, to not make assumptions, to see the inherent worth and dignity of every human– and to give space for the validity of their own point of view and how it ties in with our seven guiding principles. For myself, I am solidly in the workers’ corner. I don’t believe that Governor Walker is showing equity in his refusal to negotiate with Democrats and union leaders who have already said they’re willing to make concessions, sacrifices to help pass a balanced budget.
I will have participated in two rallies by the time this makes press that show support for the teachers and others who are being impacted by the governor’s intractability.
For me, this isn’t about the power of unions or balancing a budget. It’s about an agenda that leaves no room for compromise or for inviting all impacted parties to the table. That is what I decry and I hope that the rallies will provide the impetus for Governor Walker to be more flexible, to be more open to listening to other points of view.
That’s what we’re each called to do, isn’t it? To be more flexible, to be more open to listening to other points of view, and to remember, as Steph’s friend said, “ultimately, this too shall pass, so don’t ruin relationships over it.”
In this past week I have had a loving conversation with a member who completely disagrees with me. And what’s most important to both of us is not proving the other wrong but hearing one another and loving one another in the midst of our disagreement. If we can each do that, then, regardless of what happens in Wisconsin, we will all win.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Love is in the Air
We are standing on the side of love. Hands joined together as hearts beat as one. Emboldened by faith, we dare to proclaim, we are standing on the side of love! — Jason Shelton
What’s love got to do with it? – Tina Turner
Ahhh, February! The month of love! Or, more importantly, the month of chocolates! No, wait! Love is more important than chocolate! I got distracted for a minute, there. Above are lyrics from two of my favorite songs. The seminal anthem from UU Jason Shelton and the iconic Tina Turner’s song of denial.
Jason’s song, Standing on the Side of Love, has become our rallying cry as Unitarian Universalists. It calls us to remember who we are in the face of injustice. It calls us to an inclusive, far-reaching love that stands up for the oppressed, speaks out for the voiceless, and insists that we build bridges of understanding rather than walls of fear.
Maybe we have experienced the type of love that Tina has in her song in our personal relationships that leave us jaded and cynical. Maybe we have even experienced that cynicism in our seemingly endless quest for justice.
Sometimes, it may seem easier to just give up and give in. Tell ourselves we will never find true love or true justice in our lifetime.
But I encourage you this month, regardless of your relationship status on facebook, regardless of your level of hopelessness or hopefulness regarding our world, to make a renewed commitment to love. To being open to loving acts in your life and with your family and friends and those of us who journey alongside you at All Souls. To be open to standing on the side of love in our communities, to being allies with those who are different from you.
We have a unique opportunity to stand on the side of love on Valentine’s Day, Monday, February 14 at noon, as we join with High Plains Church and Pikes Peak MCC to do a special service on the steps of City Hall calling for all love to be legally recognized and celebrating those who are in same sex relationships. I hope you will join me there, on the steps of City Hall, as we stand on the side of love. What’s love got to do with it? Everything, it would seem.
Single or in relationship, queer or straight, we all have love to celebrate and I will have chocolates for all! :)
What’s love got to do with it? – Tina Turner
Ahhh, February! The month of love! Or, more importantly, the month of chocolates! No, wait! Love is more important than chocolate! I got distracted for a minute, there. Above are lyrics from two of my favorite songs. The seminal anthem from UU Jason Shelton and the iconic Tina Turner’s song of denial.
Jason’s song, Standing on the Side of Love, has become our rallying cry as Unitarian Universalists. It calls us to remember who we are in the face of injustice. It calls us to an inclusive, far-reaching love that stands up for the oppressed, speaks out for the voiceless, and insists that we build bridges of understanding rather than walls of fear.
Maybe we have experienced the type of love that Tina has in her song in our personal relationships that leave us jaded and cynical. Maybe we have even experienced that cynicism in our seemingly endless quest for justice.
Sometimes, it may seem easier to just give up and give in. Tell ourselves we will never find true love or true justice in our lifetime.
But I encourage you this month, regardless of your relationship status on facebook, regardless of your level of hopelessness or hopefulness regarding our world, to make a renewed commitment to love. To being open to loving acts in your life and with your family and friends and those of us who journey alongside you at All Souls. To be open to standing on the side of love in our communities, to being allies with those who are different from you.
We have a unique opportunity to stand on the side of love on Valentine’s Day, Monday, February 14 at noon, as we join with High Plains Church and Pikes Peak MCC to do a special service on the steps of City Hall calling for all love to be legally recognized and celebrating those who are in same sex relationships. I hope you will join me there, on the steps of City Hall, as we stand on the side of love. What’s love got to do with it? Everything, it would seem.
Single or in relationship, queer or straight, we all have love to celebrate and I will have chocolates for all! :)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
WWUUD?
Many years ago, there was a catch phrase in evangelical Christianity WWJD? It stood for what would Jesus do? It showed up on bumper stickers, those rubber bracelets and there was even a book written about it called, essentially, WWJD– answers to this question on a variety of topics. Of course, what the author neglected to mention was that the book was really what he would do, not Jesus, although he might think Jesus would agree.
I think it’s a great concept, asking what would Jesus do, if we could keep the answers to how the recording of his life is Christian scriptures showed him to be. He befriended the foreigner (Roman Centurion, Samaritan woman at the well) which might lead us to believe he would also befriend and speak for the rights of undocumented citizens from Mexico or Canada or any other country who is fleeing oppression or seeking justice. He healed the sick, which means he might be for universal health care. He said “You have heard it said an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, but I tell you to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” which might indicate an aversion to the death penalty.
And of course, other witty responses to the WWJD arose– WWBD- what would Buddha do and WWJB– who would Jesus bomb. But perhaps the most important question we should be asking is WWUUD? What would Unitarian Universalists do in morally repugnant or frightening situations? How can we live our principles out in the wider world of which we are a part?
I’ve recently become a big fan on the show What Would You Do? On ABC, hosted by John Quinones. I think it’s on Friday, but I really have no idea since I set up the dvr to record it and watch it all hours of the day and night. But it’s a fascinating look into American culture. It’s like Candid Camera – only with a message. Hidden cameras are posted in various places and actors portray events that really happen and record the reactions or nonreactions of unsuspecting people nearby. Recent shows featured a “café worker” berating alleged latin@ day workers and saying they should all go back to Mexico and stop taking our jobs. Another showed “teen bullies” pushing and verbally abusing a “gay teen”. Yet another showed what happens when someone carelessly leaves their pet with someone outside a store.
There are more but you get the point. It’s interesting to see what sparks people’s courage or outrage. Ironically, more berated the woman who was leaving her dog with strangers than came to the aid of the teen allegedly being gay-bashed. A good number of people spoke in defense of the latin@ workers – less than those who stood up to supposedly drunk doctors on call heading in to do surgery.
It’s a good question, as we enter this holiday season filled with stories of bravery and standing in the face of dominant oppression. Buddha, who gave up everything and devoted his life to end suffering, Mary and Joseph who bravely withstood the sneering neighbors, homelessness and poverty to give birth to Jesus and who accepted the foreigners and their gifts later. The Maccabees who fought off domination and kept the fire of their commitment burning long after most lamps would have given out.
As we enter this season of crazed shopping, frenetic parties and insane traffic, let this be a reminder, that we are all a part of a wider world. That we are each of to care for one– family, friend, foe and foreigner alike. Because at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter what we think Jesus or Buddha would do. At the end of the day, it really only matters what WE– you and me actually did to further civility, justice, compassion and caring in our world. That’s a gift anyone would appreciate. Happy Holidays.
I think it’s a great concept, asking what would Jesus do, if we could keep the answers to how the recording of his life is Christian scriptures showed him to be. He befriended the foreigner (Roman Centurion, Samaritan woman at the well) which might lead us to believe he would also befriend and speak for the rights of undocumented citizens from Mexico or Canada or any other country who is fleeing oppression or seeking justice. He healed the sick, which means he might be for universal health care. He said “You have heard it said an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, but I tell you to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” which might indicate an aversion to the death penalty.
And of course, other witty responses to the WWJD arose– WWBD- what would Buddha do and WWJB– who would Jesus bomb. But perhaps the most important question we should be asking is WWUUD? What would Unitarian Universalists do in morally repugnant or frightening situations? How can we live our principles out in the wider world of which we are a part?
I’ve recently become a big fan on the show What Would You Do? On ABC, hosted by John Quinones. I think it’s on Friday, but I really have no idea since I set up the dvr to record it and watch it all hours of the day and night. But it’s a fascinating look into American culture. It’s like Candid Camera – only with a message. Hidden cameras are posted in various places and actors portray events that really happen and record the reactions or nonreactions of unsuspecting people nearby. Recent shows featured a “café worker” berating alleged latin@ day workers and saying they should all go back to Mexico and stop taking our jobs. Another showed “teen bullies” pushing and verbally abusing a “gay teen”. Yet another showed what happens when someone carelessly leaves their pet with someone outside a store.
There are more but you get the point. It’s interesting to see what sparks people’s courage or outrage. Ironically, more berated the woman who was leaving her dog with strangers than came to the aid of the teen allegedly being gay-bashed. A good number of people spoke in defense of the latin@ workers – less than those who stood up to supposedly drunk doctors on call heading in to do surgery.
It’s a good question, as we enter this holiday season filled with stories of bravery and standing in the face of dominant oppression. Buddha, who gave up everything and devoted his life to end suffering, Mary and Joseph who bravely withstood the sneering neighbors, homelessness and poverty to give birth to Jesus and who accepted the foreigners and their gifts later. The Maccabees who fought off domination and kept the fire of their commitment burning long after most lamps would have given out.
As we enter this season of crazed shopping, frenetic parties and insane traffic, let this be a reminder, that we are all a part of a wider world. That we are each of to care for one– family, friend, foe and foreigner alike. Because at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter what we think Jesus or Buddha would do. At the end of the day, it really only matters what WE– you and me actually did to further civility, justice, compassion and caring in our world. That’s a gift anyone would appreciate. Happy Holidays.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)